They're first class detectives an' have solved some big cases, so I'm expectin' good thin's from 'em."Boys, this here is Sheriff Ed Hopkins. Draw some hosses from the corral and go with him. I can't tell ya no more, any how."Sean and Ezra drew the horses and put their own tack on them, along with their shotguns. They were ready to ride with the sheriff in only a few minutes. He led them at a fast lope and they arrived at the Upson ranch at 10:00 o'clock."Jed, I brung two detectives with me. Show us where your daughter wuz when she wuz kidnapped sos we kin start huntin' fer her." She wuz in her room sleepin', an' the bastards busted in the winder an' grabbed her. They wuz gone afore we knew what happened. My wife discovered that Jenny wuz gone when she got up to start the mornin' coffee. Right away, I sent one of the hands in to fetch the sheriff." I hope y'all ain't messed up the tracks, cuz Ezra, here, is a first class tracker. Let's turn him loose to see what he kin come up. I could see his nose twitch in the rearview mirror and eventually, his eyes shot up to take my oh so innocent appearance in with some considerable accusation "Have you farted?"I tried to look surprised, but it didn't work. I could feel another brewing at that very moment. I shrugged and batted my eyelids "Yeah, sorry. Christmas eh? Too much rich food"But this grumpy git wasn't the type to fall for my girlie charms and he groaned with horror before pulling the car up kerbside. "What?" I asked "What are you doing?" You know what" he said, jerking his head towards the pavement as he switched the meter off "Out" Out?" I asked. By my reckoning I was a good five minute walk from home "You're actually chucking me out....for farting?" It fuckin' reeks in here" he complained "Go on, hop it" But it's Christmas" I protested weakly "C'mon where's your Christmas spirit you old Scrooge?" If I didn't have to pay maintenance to my bitch ex wife and my son, I wouldn't be driving dirty fat chubbas.
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